Margaret

Do you remember punch cards stacked on a college desk
Do you remember print outs stacked up so very statuesque
Do you remember the compiler in the basement lab
Do you remember I thought it was four spaces not a tab

By the way didn't I fix that bug?
Please excuse me, I really meant to fix that bug
So sorry, I really meant to fix that bug
Cause you fixed mine

Margaret is it too soon to say it’s working
And Margaret should we get it to complete once again?
I just can't go on pretending I got it the first time you explained

Aug 31, 2017 under Poetry Cornered

’Twas the Night Before Canada Day

'Twas the night before Canada Day, when all through the igloo
Not a hoser was stirring, not even for a brew-
Ski;
The snowshoes were hung by the outhouse with care,
In hopes that @jdalrymple soon would be there;

The mooselings were nestled all snug in their holes;
With visions of grizzly bears dancing on some po—
Wait, that was me…
And mamma in her goalie helmet, and I in my Rush shirt,
Had just finished a two-four, we weren't feelin' any hurt,

Jun 30, 2014 under Poetry Cornered

2114

I. Overture
"And the licensed shall inherit the earth."


II. Radio of iTunes
We've taken care of everything
The tunes you hear
The Boards you Spring
The pictures that give (App Store reviewer approved) pleasure
To your eye
All for one, yes—All. For. One.
Curate together
Average ratings
Never need to wonder
How or why

Jun 2, 2014 under Rush, under Poetry Cornered

Apache Server

Well they screwed up the back end dev in the repo last night now they screwed up his workflow too
Down in the conference room they're gettin' ready for a fight gonna see what them JavaScript boys can do

Now there's trouble bustin' in from outta RESTful states and the P.M. can't get no relief
Gonna be a rumble out on the foosball deck and the QA lead's hangin' on by the skin of her teeth

Nov 22, 2013 under Blues, under Poetry Cornered

Working on the Weekend

Everyone’s watchin’ to see if you can ship,
Everyone’s waitin’ for you, Oh shi—…
Everyone’s wonderin’ did you catch all the “lorem ipsum”
Cos everyone’s worried, you’re gonna make ’em look dumb, look dumb…

Everybody’s workin’ on the weekend
Cos somebody forgot to test IE
Hey yeah…!
Everybody’s goin' off the deep end
Everybody needs some extra pants, Oh

You done stabbin’ me in my heart?
You better brew a new batch from the start
You wanna go home to the kids?
C’mon baby, alias all the NIDs…

Oct 23, 2013 under Poetry Cornered

Working on the Weekend

Everyone's watching to see which bugs you fix
Everyone's looking at the queue, oh woe…
Everyone's wondering will you deploy tonight
Everyone's trying to launch it right, launch it right

Everybody's working on the weekend
Everybody’s wearing their unwashed pants
Everybody's long gone off the deep end
Everybody’s forking a second branch, oh woe…

You want a little sip of my coffee?
Make sure your commit log ain't sloppy
You want me to let you go home?
C'mon monkey, check it in Chrome!

Sep 22, 2013 under Poetry Cornered

Cachin’

Cachin’ Cachin’ Cachin’

Keep testin’, testin’, testin’,
Doritos we are ingestin’,
Keep them templates testin’
Drupaaaaaaaal!
Don’t try to understand it,
Just try, catch, var_dump it
When you wrote this had you glue sniffed?
Man, this function’s regurgitatin’
But some booze will be a-waitin’,
A-waiting at the end of my shift.

Jun 22, 2013 under Poetry Cornered

Square Icons

Square icons go on every screen
Square icons are the boss
Square icons on the shiny OS
Square icons got no gloss
Square icons are the latest thing
Square icons take the cake
Square icons gonna be everywhere
Square icons got nothing fake

Sometimes pushing beziers around
Sometimes pulling out the rug
Sometimes pushing all the buttons
Sometimes looking oh so smug
It's the power and the glory
Getting kicked out of paradise
It's a cinderella story
They no longer look like dice

Jun 10, 2013 under Poetry Cornered, under Rush

The Spirit of WWDC

Begin the keynote
With a friendly voice,
A CEO, unobtrusive
Shows those sales figures, so elusive
And the payment total makes your morning mood

Off on your way
Hit the afternoon sessions,
There is magic at your fingers
For the notifications ever linger,
Demanding contact 
In your earbudded solitude.

Jun 10, 2013 under Rush, under Poetry Cornered

Skeuomorphic Man

He's a Limey and a lover
His hardware's turning green
He's a middle-aged romantic
Wants to run the big machine

He's got a problem with his linens
But you know he'll find a cure
He's cleaning up his systems
To keep his icons pure

Learning to match the beat of the Windows Phone man
Learning to catch the heat of the BlackBerry man

Jun 6, 2013 under Rush, under Poetry Cornered

Tim Cook

A supply chain warrior
Lean mean stride,
Today's Tim Cook's
Got a mean stock slide.
Though his software's not for rent,
Don't put him down as arrogant.
His reserve, a quiet defense,
Riding out the market's events.
The market…

What you say about his company
Is what you say about society.
-Catch the MacBook -Catch the iPad
-Catch the iPhone -Wait, it's just a fad!
The world is, the world is,
Dumptrucks full of cash are deep,
Maybe as his arms are wide.

Jun 6, 2013 under Rush, under Poetry Cornered

Burnaby-Lougheed

Sprawling on the fringes of the GVA
In geometric mandate
An insulated candidate
In between the bright lights
And the far unlit electorate

Campaigning it all seems so one-sided
Resumes all provided
The future pre-decided
Detached and subdivided
In the Translink fare paid zone
Nowhere is the voter
Or the other voter
Or the other voter
Or the other voter
Or the other voter so alone

May 28, 2013 under Rush, under Poetry Cornered

Adobe Creative Cloud

Better rifle through your wallet, Dontcha be too proud, Cos you’re all gonna subscribe, To the ’Dobe Creative Cloud!
May 6, 2013 under Poetry Cornered, under Blues

WordPress Blues

@petethedude’s nerves are fraying,
This code’s gonna get a trebucheting,
When no one wins, ev’ryone’ll lose,
He’s got the Wordpress Blues

Settings don’t stick,
(Paid) theme don’t work.
Time to cut some cruft,
Look out! He’s reaching for his dirk!

The templating’s all whack,
He’s about to blow his stack.
PM asks for one more widget,
See his eyelid start to fidget…

Apr 8, 2013 under Poetry Cornered, under Blues

Adobe Updater Blues

Get on your knees, you lowly supplicator,
Prepare to run the Adobe App Updater,
Better make a little prayer, better leave a little offering,
Say, got yer soul handy? Time for a proffering.

Is that a lousy rhyme? You’ll find a better one,
Lots of time left ’fore the first download is done,
Now you know what they say, a watched pot never—
Whoops! Timeout error,  it’s a futile endeavour!

Mar 19, 2013 under Blues, under Poetry Cornered