Apache Server

Well they screwed up the back end dev in the repo last night now they screwed up his workflow too
Down in the conference room they're gettin' ready for a fight gonna see what them JavaScript boys can do

Now there's trouble bustin' in from outta RESTful states and the P.M. can't get no relief
Gonna be a rumble out on the foosball deck and the QA lead's hangin' on by the skin of her teeth

Nov 22, 2013 under Blues, under Poetry Cornered

Adobe Creative Cloud

Better rifle through your wallet, Dontcha be too proud, Cos you’re all gonna subscribe, To the ’Dobe Creative Cloud!
May 6, 2013 under Poetry Cornered, under Blues

WordPress Blues

@petethedude’s nerves are fraying,
This code’s gonna get a trebucheting,
When no one wins, ev’ryone’ll lose,
He’s got the Wordpress Blues

Settings don’t stick,
(Paid) theme don’t work.
Time to cut some cruft,
Look out! He’s reaching for his dirk!

The templating’s all whack,
He’s about to blow his stack.
PM asks for one more widget,
See his eyelid start to fidget…

Apr 8, 2013 under Poetry Cornered, under Blues

Adobe Updater Blues

Get on your knees, you lowly supplicator,
Prepare to run the Adobe App Updater,
Better make a little prayer, better leave a little offering,
Say, got yer soul handy? Time for a proffering.

Is that a lousy rhyme? You’ll find a better one,
Lots of time left ’fore the first download is done,
Now you know what they say, a watched pot never—
Whoops! Timeout error,  it’s a futile endeavour!

Mar 19, 2013 under Blues, under Poetry Cornered

WordPress Blues

Well I stepped in some shit,
With holes in my shoes,
An’ I didn’t even care,
Cos I got the Wordpress Blues.

My dog up and croaked,
But mister, there’s worse news,
It stripped out all my <p> tags,
Lord, spare me the Wordpress Blues.

’Ere’s rain coming through the ceiling,
& smoke coming out the flues,
Someone hardcoded ’ese goddamned ID’s,
Sir, I got the WordPress Blues.

Feb 16, 2013 under Blues, under Poetry Cornered

Internet Explorer Blues

Internet Explorer,
You're making my head sorer,
From all the damage to my layout
That you do…

Internet Explorer,
I tremble at the horror,
That z-planing looks like something
I stepped in with my shoe…

Internet Explorer,
That's output from a corn-borer,
I hit the refresh a hundred,
A thousand times…

Internet Explorer,
Be grateful I'm no juror,
Your margins and floats are
As elegant as my rhymes…

[kazoo solo]

Dec 5, 2012 under Blues, under Poetry Cornered

WordPress Blues

Aw, screw you, WordPress
I did not need this duress
Just upload my goddamned file
That beach ball's been spinning for more than a while.

Jeez, it looks like you got stuck
And I was just about to—FUCK!
Why are you inserting that tag?
Working with you's like bathing in a quag-
Mire. This is dire.

Why is this always such a bloody scrimmage?
All I want is to post this section
I'm certainly losing my—

Oct 18, 2012 under Blues, under Poetry Cornered

WordPress Blues

Ah got me the WordPress Blues, yes ah do, yes ah do…
Cos I woke up this morning, an’ I entered some code…

…But when I saw what you’d done, things did not well bode
You chopped out my <p>, an’ I was too sick to laugh… (that’s a rhyme, foax…)

…Ah was trying to sort, and yew made me ready for le Morte
d’Arthur. Your widgets so tiny, an’ my hand all sweaty an’ shiny…

…You screwed me for the last time, Wordpress, you screwed me for the last time
Til Monday. Blue Monday… (Kazoo solo)…

Sep 22, 2012 under Blues, under Poetry Cornered