With apologies to James Murphy.

Yeah, I'm losing my edge.
I'm losing my edge.
The kids are coming up from behind.
I'm losing my edge.
I'm losing my edge to the kids from Twitter and from Google+.
But I was there.
I was there in 1968.
I was there at Doug Englebart's Mother of All Demos.
In San Francisco.
I'm losing my edge.
I'm losing my edge to the kids whose tweets I see when they get on the phones.
I'm losing my edge to the Internet seekers who can tell me every tweet of every good designer from early 2007 to late 2007.
I'm losing my edge to all the kids in 4Chan and Baidu.
I'm losing my edge to the art-school Brooklynites with one letter handles and borrowed nostalgia for the unremembered baud rates.
But I'm losing my edge.
I'm losing my edge, but I was there.
I was there.
But I was there.
I'm losing my edge.
I'm losing my edge.
I can see the tweets every night in Tweetdeck.
But I was there.
I was there in 1991 at the first web site launch in a basement at CERN.
I was working on the Debabelizer super-palette
with much patience.
I was there when Tim Berners-Lee picked blue for anchor colors.
I told him,
“Don't do it that way. You'll never make it legible.”
I was there.

I was the first guy showing hex colors to the art school kids.
I showed them in the Mac Lab.
Everybody thought I was crazy.
We all know.
I was there.
I was there.
I've never been wrong.
I used to work in the games industry.
I followed everything before anyone. 

I was there when Macromedia bought Future Splash.
I was there when lowsrc was being discovered.
I woke up hungover on my desk after a launch in 1996.
But I'm losing my edge to better-looking people with better ideas and more talent.
And they're actually really, really nice.
I'm losing my edge.

I heard you have a compilation of every good CSS hack ever done by anybody.
Every great animation by Joshua Davies.
All the stat counter hits.
All the JavaScript rollover tricks.

I heard you have a first edition of every Lynda Weinman book.
I heard that you have a white iPod Touch prototype bought off the grey market in Taiwan.
I heard that you were being followed by @zeldman, @meyerweb, @jasonsantamaria, @gruber.
I hear you're buying a domain and a web host and are throwing your tumblr out the window because you want to make something real.
You want to make a static HTML site.
I hear that you and your team have sold your pcs and bought tablets. 
I hear that you and your team have sold your tablets and bought phones.

I hear everybody that you know is more relevant than everybody that I know.
But have you seen my bookmarks?

Angelfire, Suck.com, Ultimate Band List, MacFixit, Hot Wired, Hot Bot, Web Monkey, Dreamless, Lycos, The WELL, AltaVista, WebCrawler, Excite, Dogpile, Metacrawler, LookSmart, Tripod, Geocities, Angelfire, Tiled backgrounds, imagemaps, applets, web safe, get Shockwave, GraphicConverter, skip intro,  Clement Mok, Jeffery Zeldman, A List Apart, Todd Dominey, Kevin Mitnick, Alertbox, Vincent Flanders, Kai's Power Tools, k! 10! k!, Bert is Evil, Dancing Baby, Cat Scan, MP3.com, Praystation, SiSSYFiGHT, Soulbath, Icebox, Hamster Dance, the framesets, the framesets, the framesets, the framesets…
You don't know what you really want.

Recommended for Netscape Navigator 2.

 

With contributions from @scronide